pants are optional

2010-04-22T16:17:00.002-04:00

This.

V COUNT MACULA - So Damn Busy from THIRSTY BOY ENT. on Vimeo.

2010-04-07T11:08:00.002-04:00

The Kiss of Death.

So. Immediatly after saying we'll be posting a bunch more we went silent for a long ass time. Yup. That's what we do. Mind fuck and what not.

Anyhow. Here's what's important. This may be the greatest trailer i've seen in awhile. And no its not fucking Iron Man 2. This is a Japanese movie called Alien versus Ninja. And it seems to me that this is a movie a young Sam Raimi could have made if he was way into ninjas and horror movies.

You decide.

Also. Dr. Horribles Sing Along Fan-Made 8-Bit Video Game via Topless robot.

And in case you missed it, Bad Lieutenant - Port of Call New Orleans is now out on DVD. Now, i haven't seen it yet, but it looks like its terrible in the best way. If you've seen it, please email me with a review.

Cheers.

2010-02-08T10:05:00.005-05:00

It looks like we ran Super Bowl ads? No one told me.

So, i ended up DVR-ing the puppy bowl on animal planet and watched the Super Bowl. Not a bad game, but then again for me its all about the ads. Which were, lame to weird. I think there were three "Furry" friendly spots in a row. Something about a beaver ending up in a hot tub in a limo with a bikini chick, i don't even know what they were advertising, then something for the Benicio Del Toro werewolf film, and then something with an Orca Whale. You know. The sexy ones. Also there were two ads in a row about people with no pants. One had a song. I think its now our ad and our song.

But far and away the winner for me is one you can't find on the CBS Sports Super Bowl ads website.

Betty White.
Abe Vigoda.

To me everything Betty White touches is gold.

2010-02-05T17:40:00.003-05:00

The More You Know...

Learn how to survive a 35,000 foot fall. It may come in handy one day.

From Cracked: The 5 Most Statistically Full of Shit Stereo Types.

Zero Punctuation. Best and funniest video game reviews. And the animation is cool too.

Film Drunk found this freak. Just click play.

Hasbro's new awesome AT-AT. From the great geek site "Topless Robot".

Edible Nipple Tassels. Just in time for Valentines day.

Super Bowl Prediction: Over-hyped hyperbole 41 Hackneyed Cliche's 40 That's why i pick the Puppy Bowl. I'm betting on Bandit for MVP.

PS. We'll update this more often, I promise. Keep your head together and stay safe.

2010-01-05T11:01:00.002-05:00

Know how i know you're gay?

You built the worlds largest phallic symbol. Thumbs up Dubai!

The only reason i can think of to go back to Comcast.

The website Topless Robot has Bruce Campbell's 10 Least Essential roles.

Tiger Woods sex tape? Pass.

Put on Nazi outfit. Get drunk. Win? Oh wait. It's okay if you're a celebrity.

Don Rickles everybody.

2009-12-22T10:59:00.003-05:00

Kick-Ass.

In this trailer a twelve year old girl says fuck and cunt, and shoots a whole bunch of people (so, probably totally safe for work depending on if you work the front desk of the Bunny Ranch). And its funny and cute. AND Nick Cage is involved. Weird, right? Watch trailer, then google movie - kick ass. And start watching

I'm not saying its gonna be epic. But its got a lot of potential.

2009-12-09T14:28:00.002-05:00

Are we still here?

So. Juggalos. Let's talk about them. First was the amazing advertisement for "The Gathering", a weekend meth fueled Insane Clown Posse and company music/backyard wrestling event. Then I discovered there's a whole documentary on "The Gathering" where you feel pity for a couple who fly from England to be married by Violent J. Now. Now you've gone meta. (golf clap) Good work ICP. Saturday Night Live has spoofed you. Pretty much dead on. It's strange that i find the actual ad funnier than the SNL skit. But that's me.

2009-11-09T21:20:00.003-05:00

It's Always Sunny

Dick Towel.

Dick Towel dot com.

This show is funnier than any digital short SNL can put together. Even that lame Frankenstein one.

Order yours today.

2009-10-18T01:54:00.001-04:00

It saves time

2009-09-12T00:02:00.001-04:00

I hope my wife won't be jealous of 'new wife'.

Cuz i'm going to marry this bitch.

2009-09-10T15:42:00.002-04:00

Dude, if we could for real stop talking about Aerosmith, I'd be really happy.

Solid Dudes Kitchen. All episodes on YouTube.

If you're debating clicking the link, I give you "The 'Brownie' Episode"

(I guess they don't like embeds.)

2009-09-06T00:14:00.000-04:00

Renegade Pervert.

2009-09-02T11:38:00.002-04:00

Beavis and Butthead discuss Mike Judge's new film "Extract".

Stolen from FilmDrunk, because i'm lazy and they're not.

@ Yahoo! Video

2009-08-27T16:07:00.003-04:00

Solid Dude's Kitchen.

This show's going to be awesome. Except its local. Not like, internet local, but like, my neighborhood local.

Keep searching the internets, when i find out where it's at, i'll let ya know.
website

2009-08-26T14:16:00.001-04:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

2009-08-21T13:53:00.002-04:00

I'd write something

But i have to go furiously masturbate.

Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman to star in a movie in which they have "angry hungry sex" with each other.

What Would Tyler Durden Do is the best celeb site.

2009-08-20T14:43:00.002-04:00

Louis CK is back on TV

Courtesy of FX. I hate Rupert Murdoch, but goddamn they're kicking out the hits.

Story here.

2009-08-13T10:36:00.003-04:00

I Want MY America Back.

I've been trying to avoid writing this one. I really have.

But people. Stop being stupid. And stop being afraid.

John Rhen, 68, of Troy said he had never been to anything like the demonstration.

"But I read the bill, and I don't like it," he said. "They're going to take over everything." Freep 8-13-09

Fail. You've done neither. You've let people scare you. And it's happening all over America. You have people who are most likely on government run Medicare pleading with their congressmen not to let the government get their hands on Medicare.

Fucking stop it. Stop being afraid. We are not a nation of babies. We do not need to let this crap get to us. Everyone. Take a deep breath, clear the fear out of your mind, and take a look around you.

A lot of people don't have health care. Because they can't afford it. Not that they don't want it. Not that they're not employed. But because they straight up can't afford it. Millions and millions of people. Illness go untreated until it becomes life and death, and then end up costing our system more in the long run. People don't get the preventative advice they need to reduce health care costs because they don't want to pay for doctors visits. The number one cause of bankruptcy filings in the United States is because of medical bills.

This is the world we are currently living in. And you fucking scared shitless babies are screaming to get "MY America back." Your America blows and is inhumane, and way too costly. I've heard Chris Matthews say that MY America is code for being afraid of a Black President. That's too broad. I think they'd say the same thing if it was President Hillary Clinton or John Edwards or whomever. What they're saying is "Change scares me. And when i get scared, i get stupid."

So. I say to you. Stop being afraid.

The plans in the House do not take away any insurance. At all.

You will only have more options for health insurance.

More people will have health care.

And the quality of life for even the least among us will be tolerable.

There's nothing to be afraid of. As long as you open your eyes and act like adults.

2009-08-12T08:45:00.002-04:00

Yes. GI Joe. Blah blah blah.

This isn't the first time Americans have made a raging success out of a complete turd nugget. And in fairness to GI Joe, i haven't actually seen the film yet. But word is. Fucking terrible. And again, i point to the two Transformer flicks as evidence that people just want to see shit blow up. I get that. I blow off roman candles and Glitterators when i've had a bad day. I get blowing shit up. Just don't expect the roman candles to have a plot. Or substance. Or being anything more than it is.

I hope half of you chuckle heads saved some cash for District 9. Opens technically Friday, but i'm sure you can find a midnight show in your neck of the woods. Please America, let this do half the business of GI Joe: Rise of the Revenge of the Fallen Cobra.

In other movie related stuff. Coming in October: How To Be A Serial Killer. It looks like it could be entertaining, but I'm not seeing Eric Roberts or Mickey Rourke in the credits list, which is a shame, because they scream crazy.

Anyhow, for your consideration: How To Be A Serial Killer:

2009-08-04T16:32:00.002-04:00

Tucker Max.

If you've been to Tucker Max.com or read the book, you know he's basically a crude alpha male, but usually ends up with some seriously self depricating stories. He now has a movie. Well. At least a trailer.

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell in HD

I'm going to put this as a MAYBE rent. MAYBE.

2009-07-26T02:46:00.001-04:00

John Cusak. Rob Cordry. Clark Duke. Chevy Chase.

Hot Tub Time Machine.

That is all. Courtesy of Trailer Trash.

2009-07-23T14:17:00.000-04:00

NEW!!!!

Footage from the Harvard Professor/cop dust up!

Amos & Andrew Nicolas Cage Samuel Jackson E. Max Frye | Movie Trailers

2009-07-21T09:03:00.002-04:00

Oh man, 3d scat pr0n is almost here!

You need 3d glasses to check out this shit. But it's pretty fucking cool.

2009-07-02T16:24:00.001-04:00

I can't explain how happy this makes me.

I love Faith No More. Since i was an rebellious youth. Very fucking good to have them back.

2009-06-23T14:44:00.000-04:00

Mr. Show was brilliant.

Wycked Sceptre Party Tape from Mr. Show - watch more funny videos

2009-06-13T00:09:00.002-04:00

Event Oblivion

Mastodon is one of those bands. Having spent five years doing heavy metal radio, it takes something special to pay attention to a band, because i think there comes a point when you listen to music and think "That band sounds like Pantera, that band sounds like Sepultura, that band sounds like Weezer's first album mixed with some earlier David Lee Roth solo stuff. Mastodon cuts through for me. I appreciate them.

Enjoy Mastodon's new video "Oblivion".

2009-06-03T15:42:00.002-04:00

Zombie Nazi's.

In theater's June 19th, 2009.
That is all.

2009-06-02T09:36:00.001-04:00

Norm McDonald.

Still badass.

2009-05-28T12:25:00.003-04:00

Funny or Die

Credit Cards get fucked back. I suggest headphones.

New Credit Card Laws - watch more funny videos

2009-05-17T03:08:00.002-04:00

My man crush on Andy Samberg

I'm trying to be critical of his stuff, i am. But even his ads for hosting the MTV movie awards in a couple of weeks make my laugh. I can't help it. Dude is funny.

2009-05-10T22:52:00.001-04:00

This will be everywhere. You'll lol.

2009-05-08T14:44:00.003-04:00

jesus christ nerds...

Stolen from film drunk. A fan video of the death star blowing up what looks like Star Treks Enterprise, complete with storm troopers and what not.

Can't you all just get along, grab a ticket to Wolverine or wait a week for Terminator and give each other quiet hand jobs in the back of the theater like normal folks?

2009-05-06T08:46:00.002-04:00

Click on shit. Blah blah blah.

So. Watch this. Mostly cuz i said so. But also because i think i'd see this movie.

Gobstopper Trailer from Gobstopper Movie

It's from this site and i'm sure the combination of the Funny or Die logo, Paul Scheer and Weeman you're getting that this thing isn't happening for real. But. I would pay full price to see this movie in theaters. I think it'd be great.

2009-05-05T14:39:00.002-04:00

You don't like a lighthouse, you suck.

And I'm alive. Managed to unexpectedly kill my computer last week. Never quite realized how addicted to technology i really am. And oh how i am.

How else can i see this?

Get real. No way.

Go check the Eat This City to get up to date on your internets. And click on the video in the comments.

There. Now we're all up to speed.

Good luck.

2009-04-29T08:51:00.003-04:00

chuckles out loud. COL? Whatever.

Friendly Foes. Danzig cover. Acoustic "Mother". Acoustic lol.

My bad. I'm assuming you know who these guys are. Friendly Foes part Thunderbirds are Now, part Kiddo, part Satin Peaches. All DANZIG MUTHAFUCKA!!!!!

2009-04-22T14:39:00.000-04:00

Pain or Suffering.

I don't know why this amuses me so.

2009-04-22T10:38:00.003-04:00

Because its hump day.

Recently the Pants crew (minus the mighty nub) went to a concert! Together! It was like "How's Your News" but instead of being uplifting and funny, we were kinda "standing in the back, quietly judging and sometimes nodding our heads"-ey. This is relevant for two reasons. 1. I got to bring up the best show MTV's had on in a long time. And 2. Someone did some video of the gig. Here's the Lightning Love - Everyone I Know

They're good. They play metro Detroit a lot. So. Go see them.

2009-04-20T15:30:00.001-04:00

This is it!

This is it! This is how you will win football games and become winners of the Super Bowl! Mock my words universe, these new designs will for sure 100% Guarantee Lions victories this year. Seriously if you had that on your helmet and played football would you not be thinking to yourself “There’s no way the other team can beat us, I’m way too psyched with this sweet new logo! I’m gonna score so many touchdowns cause I feel like an invincible winner!!!”

Look out world Detroit’s making a comeback and it’s all starting with a brand new Lions jersey (That you can now get at your local Dunahms for a $99!).

Grrrrrrrrrrr!

2009-04-18T00:33:00.001-04:00

I miss Bob Probert.

Hockey playoffs are here. Here's Probert throwing down from back in the day.

2009-04-07T01:16:00.001-04:00

Like a BOSS.

Not gonna lie. I was on the fence about Andy Samberg. I really was for a long time. But i think he (they, the lonely island folks) are actually much smarter than i initially thought. I think this shit is funny. Eat it.

2009-04-06T16:56:00.001-04:00

Amazing.

No. Not Crank2, although i'm sure that will be as well.

2009-03-30T23:53:00.003-04:00

Because, right now the Big 3 need a hero

Like these doods.

2009-03-29T01:08:00.000-04:00

You tell me.

Click and watch. I mean it. Then you tell me.

From Crackle: Star-ving Ep 2 feat Gilbert Gottfried

2009-03-24T16:06:00.002-04:00

OMG.

Up the ass. That is all.

UPDATE:
Eric Roberts. In "Cyclops".

2009-03-13T08:42:00.000-04:00

Jon Stewart v. Jim Cramer

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Interview Outtake Pt. 3

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Jim Cramer

2009-03-12T15:30:00.001-04:00

That's dedication, pal.

Saw this on FilmDrunk. I've now watched the trailer three times. That means i should share.

2009-03-02T08:18:00.000-05:00

Everything's Amazing, nobody's happy.

2009-02-27T15:13:00.003-05:00

...And Then They All Explode

If you see a large gaggle of nerds trying to sell you useless crap while sporting raging hard-ons, an Unrestored copy of Action Comics Number 1 going up for auction may be why. And if you're wondering who would pay $400k for a comic book, remember, while you were getting drunk at frat parties and date raping like there was no tomorrow, these people were figuring out ways to make a shit ton of cash.

Old-ish but still gross. Jasper has the best take on Octo-mom offered $1million for porn.

In political news: This guy is a great dancer.

(h/t to cityrag.)
In related news, Jamie Foxx makes good music videos. Samuel L. Jackson, Ron Howard and Jake Gyllenhaal? Fuck YES.

Have a good weekend, kids. Don't get busted with a DUI. I wanna see your pretty faces around here next week.

2009-02-19T16:12:00.001-05:00

Cliche, thy name is I Am Kung-Fu

Cheers. See you later.

2009-02-13T01:27:00.002-05:00

Dear Airplanes.

Please stop falling out of the sky. I'm heading out to visit Nubbenstein in Vegas next week. He will be very sad if I fall out of the sky. Not because he likes me. But i buy the hookers when i visit. Also. The hookers will probably also be sad. Mostly their wallets.

Stop freaking me out.

Sincerely,

IAKF

2009-02-06T11:46:00.006-05:00

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

I try not to get TOO politicky on here. That's not what this is all for. And although I'd much rather write in depth about the sexual predilections of various politicians, i kinda feel like i have some stuff that needs to be said.

There's a HUGE jobs bill going through congress right now. It's very simple. You build and fix roads and bridges throughout the nation. And by doing that you employ the people that do the work, the steel mills that churn out the steel, the timber yards that make the wood, the cement, etc. Which will lead to direct job creation. And more people who need jobs will have money to spend. Because they'll have jobs. They buy the stuff that's sitting on the shelf. The people that make that stuff go back to work to re-fill the shelves. It's pretty easy.

But some people are all fucked up. "We need more tax cuts!". I think they treat us like pavlov's dog. We hear tax cuts and we think "Me getting more money back? Good!" Here's the thing, friend-o. When they say tax cuts THEY'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU. They're not. Unless this is your lifestyle:

If all that looks like your life, then yes, yes they're talking about YOU. If you don't have a boat, a pile of cash, and a ton of rich white people you hang out with and consider your peers, THEY'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU. The taxes they're talking about cutting go to interest rich people make on their stock options, and to corporations and businesses. And there's talk of reducing the size of this bill. The smaller the bill, the less people get hired, the less people have money to buy the products sitting on shelves and in car lots. The worse this thing gets.

So. Follow me. A HUGE jobs bill is a good thing. Tax cuts for assholes are a bad thing. For once, just support your own self interest and stop believing the bull shit coming out of politicians mouths. They lie for a living.

2009-02-05T11:25:00.002-05:00

Do you recognize that there is a difference between one dollar and one cent?

So. If you have Verizon. You might want to take a closer look at your cell phone bill. I think my favorite part is the deep sigh when he gets put on hold.

2009-02-03T08:49:00.009-05:00

Really, Internets? Really?

The internut exploded yesterday. Because Christian Bale said bad words. Really. A movie actor acting like a pretentious, self indulgent asshole? Shocking. I'm not posting the link. Or the picture of Bale covered in blood from American Psycho. It's not that big of a deal. If you followed me around my real job with a camera, you'd find offensive stuff pretty much every day, several times a day. And although i've never melted down like that, i certainly have felt that way before. Plus, some chicks love that shit. Who's to say he didn't release it just to bang more ass? You know what? I liked the internet better the day before. When they were posting Miley Cyrus side boob. And not because i like Miley Cyrus, but because she's so CLEARLY underage, and no one thought twice about putting those pictures up. THAT'S entertainment.

UPDATE: Jasper found at least TWO good things to come from the Balesplosion. Click the link. This is worth it. It's fucking genius. UPDATED LINK. With more Bale goodness.

This was over at Dlisted. BTW. Yes, these are U.S. servicemen. That's what makes this fabulous.

And now for what you really come here for. Movie reviews that are at least six months late. Oh boy!

War, Inc.

John Cusak is a hitman! His sister is his secretary! Dan Aykroyd is a slimy dude! Grosse Pointe Blank pt. 2 right? With Ben Kingsley and Marissa Tomei! No. Here's the thing. It's supposed to be funny. But it's not. I felt bad for Hillary Duff, because she had no idea what she was getting into. I'm sure she saw all those names and was like "sweet. indie film credit!". No. Terrible. It's bad. And it doesn't even have Marissa Tomei having rough sex with Phillip Seymour Hoffman to make it kinda tolerable.
This warmed over shit-fest of a film proves that both Republicans and Democrats make terrible "spoof films".

Bad. Fail. Snausages.

2009-01-31T15:24:00.003-05:00

I know.

We've been lazy. Hold tight. We're coming. We'll get you through the first quarter of '09. I promise. Here's a flashback to simpler times. When we were just concerned about this kind of garbage.

2009-01-20T10:14:00.002-05:00

Dear World,

Sorry about the last eight years, hope we can be friends again!

Hugs and Kisses

America

2008-12-29T01:47:00.001-05:00

The Wet Secrets

Get Your Own Apartment.

I'm slow when it comes to finding new music. But i dig this.

2008-12-19T15:24:00.003-05:00

It's a snow day.

W Released a loan to Chrysler and GM. Which has me breathing a huge sigh of relief. And also Detroit is on the receiving end of mother natures beer shits. I purchased a $15 snow barfer in the summer. It's worth roughly what i paid for it.

Create your own Super Hero. I liked this a lot. But then again, i geeked out when i made a reasonable facsimile of the Incredible Hulk on Soul Caliber IV. So.

Also. This is really fucking old. But Patton Oswalt. As Robert Evans. Doing ESPN Commercials. I almost shit my pants.

2008-12-15T18:40:00.004-05:00

I hope they cast the sluts from "High School Musical" fame

I'm not even going to comment.

clipped from: www.variety.com
Norrington flies with 'Crow' franchise
Filmmaker to write, direct reinvention of series
By MICHAEL FLEMING

Stephen Norrington has signed on to write and direct a reinvention of “The Crow,” based on the comic created by James O’Barr.

Ryan Kavanaugh’s Relativity Media is negotiating with producer Ed Pressman to acquire the film franchise and finance the film.

Pressman produced the 1994 Alex Proyas-directed screen transfer, in which rock musician Eric Draven is murdered trying to rescue his girlfriend from thugs, and returns from the dead one year later to exact vengeance. Though the original became a gothic-style hit that grossed nearly $100 million worldwide, it is primarily remembered for a tragic accident in which star Brandon Lee was killed during filming.

For Norrington, “The Crow” deal marks the end of a long screen sabbatical. After making his breakthrough with the Marvel Comics hero “Blade,” Norrington took on a big-budget comic transfer with “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.” Neither the director nor his star, Sean Connery, has made a film since.

Norrington said he felt demoralized by that experience, and the accomplished sculptor spent the next five years writing and working on his art. He made a deal to direct “Clash of the Titans” for Warner Bros., but left the project, he said, because he was “unable to excite Warner Bros. with my take, or influence the screenplay to any comfortable extent.” That pic goes into production early next year with Louis Leterrier at the helm.

Norrington resolved to focus on independent projects, and sparked to an approach on “The Crow” from Relativity production chief Tucker Tooley and Pressman. Norrington had a relationship with Pressman when they came close to making “Mutant Chronicles” several years ago. Both embraced Norrington’s vision of the antihero, which Norrington said will be different than the film Proyas made.

“Whereas Proyas’ original was gloriously gothic and stylized, the new movie will be realistic, hard-edged and mysterious, almost documentary-style,” Norrington told Daily Variety.

2008-12-12T11:38:00.005-05:00

A-mazing.

Check this out. SFW. As long as your work is cool with tits and swearing. Otherwise. Check it when you get home.

Trailer

Posted using ShareThis

UPDATE:
Also NSFW-ish. The Informers looks... interesting.

And finally. Wtf is this about?

2008-12-11T13:30:00.006-05:00

Why So Serious, Detroit?

Clearly too many people i know have not taken my advice and checked out the Eat This City site, because they are awesome. I know people haven't because i've had to direct them to this video. And i didn't even want to post it because i ASSUME its everywhere and this is, and should be considered, old news.

But, again. And i'm sorry to everyone who've already seen this:
SNL Digital Shorts are funny -

SNL Digital Short - Jizz in my pants - 12/06/08 - watch more funny videos

2008-12-10T16:02:00.003-05:00

It's been awhile...

Yeah. It's been pretty depressing around here. Auto industry. Economy. I could bitch, but everyone's got that. Anyhow, here's fresh footage of the auto industry hearings.
Enjoy.

2008-11-28T11:26:00.000-05:00

Hope yours was good too...

2008-11-12T12:00:00.003-05:00

Where the FUCK did Webvomit go?

Oh. Wait. There they go.

You know, it's been pretty obvious that these two sites were gay for each other for a long time, so, i guess because you can't do it legally in the state of Michigan (or California) they got married on the internet. Way to be soooooo fucking web 2.0 you guys.

In all fairness, this makes my internets just a little bit easier, because i visited both Five Three and Webvomit pretty much daily. So. Now if you guys can just hook up with youporn, then i'd have all my internets in one place.

2008-11-06T11:04:00.006-05:00

Congratulations Detroit, we're getting SCHNEIDERED!!!

We've come a long way baby!

You know, it was already kinda irritating to have Drew Barrymore and gang running around. This is 100x worse.

Update: Go here tonight to watch this mess in action. Be an extra. Sit in a bar. Get irritated.

2008-10-25T22:42:00.002-04:00

This is GENIUS.

Ricky Gervais on some British TV show reads a scene from the Sarah Palin porno with Thandie Newton. And its AMAZING.

2008-10-14T15:31:00.003-04:00

Because it's that time of year again.

Go on. Carve a virtual pumpkin. You know you want to.

Haunted House directory. Find a haunted house near you!

Cider Mill directory. Find a cider mill near you!!

Ghost hauntings! Get molested by the supernatural near you!!!!

Oogie Style!

2008-10-14T09:49:00.002-04:00

wtf?

no. seriously. wtf?

In other news, this is everywhere, but its still funny.

Carry on.

2008-10-13T15:02:00.001-04:00

We're hoping to focus on younger women, cuz older women know this stuff already.

Ah. This is even funnier if you were ever in scouts.

12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Volunteer To Give Women Breast Exams

2008-10-08T14:27:00.000-04:00

The Hoff.

KITT vs. KARR

Because you need it.

2008-10-01T17:37:00.001-04:00

The Wilhelm Scream.

2008-09-19T16:06:00.003-04:00

Found on the internutz.

don't know who to give the credit to, but whomever you are, i lol'd.

2008-09-18T10:18:00.001-04:00

Role Models:

This could be huge.

2008-09-05T12:22:00.003-04:00

Of language, the internet and LOL.

This is going to be pretty boring. I'll post a movie clip before too long, don't worry.

The future will be filled with emoticons. Screenplays will be filled with LOL's, :) and 8==>. Research papers will run rampant with OMG, WTF??? and people will start saying LOL instead of actually laughing. Language is becoming WalMart. Everyone's pulling from the same shallow well. It's hilarious. I look forward to kids writing research papers that look like this"

Einstein FAIL? LOLROTFLMAO!!1!!

Everyone noez e=mc2. c = speed of light. which should be constant. But what if it's changed from b4? Lulz! Check it! The Oklo reactor makes sense if c = slightly variable!!!!! U no what? That means physics is GAY! c = physics. c= gay. Physics is gay. Physics = science. Science = gay! WTF? No shit, Einstein!!! :) Also! Saw 2pac movie "Gang Related" with According to Jim in it. 2pac may also be gay.

CHEERS!!!

2008-08-28T10:02:00.005-04:00

MetaLOLicA.

You know what? I'm going to say it. This is probably the best thing they've done since 1992. Lyrically retarded. Simple drums. A couple of tempo changes. And a solo. And it kind of thrashes at the end. I don't HATE it. At this rate eight years and two albums from now they might have something good again.

Metallica - The Day That Never Comes

2008-08-15T13:04:00.002-04:00

I'm posting it so you should watch.

Check him out.

2008-08-13T13:53:00.001-04:00

For you Neil Gaiman/Nightmare Before Christmas fans:

(h/t to Film Drunk)

2008-08-07T09:10:00.002-04:00

Because posting movie trailers seems to be my thing now.

I've got to take a few minutes and actually hammer out something worthwhile. My amusement at the total failure of the Detroit Tigers currently has my brain in perpetual LOL. So, i fall back on this. Role Models. Starring Paul Rudd. Some kids. Stifler. A monster truck. And. LARPING. Okay, you have my attention. Now I'm curious.

2008-07-28T10:22:00.003-04:00

The new Punisher movie trailer makes a good music video.

So, i guess with comicon in San Diego comes a bunch of stuff for geeks like me. (if you look around these nets, a bootlegged Tron2 aka Tr2n trailer is floating around.) Included is this trailer for the next Punisher film. I'm guessing they put most of the gory, violent deaths into this one trailer. Enjoy.

2008-07-22T22:05:00.002-04:00

IT'S NO FANTASTIC FOUR !

I guess no one saw the Dark Knight this weekend? That's to bad it was a pretty good film. Actually there's a lot of hyperbole around this one, but it's all true. All three Spiderman films are shit compared to this. To me the gold standard is the first Superman film and this film is right up there with it and Batman Begins (With any luck Supes will have his day again). It's not often you see a summer/comic book film that actually sticks with you after you see it. This film will probably get a lot of repeat business because of that to, there's a lot that takes place in this film and it takes a bit to process what you've just seen. All of the characters in this film are fleshed out, interesting and matter to the overall story. The Joker is just flat out frightening, whenever he pops up your automatically concerned for whoever's in the room with him. A lot of reviews reference a pencil trick he does, my thoughts before seeing it, "I'm sure it's cool" after seeing it " Holy Shit! I need to see that again!" Harvey Dent, you'd think just ok D.A./Two-face probably no screen time who cares cause of the Joker, WRONG! He kicks ass and the only thing I'll say other than that is, how is this film not rated R for the face job they gave this guy???? Gary Oldmen nails Gordon, I love the amount of time they give to him. He's the only good cop whose as blinded as Batman in trying to do the right thing. The cast is just awesome in this one, especially Eric Roberts! And the soundtrack is like something out of the Shinning, listen for when the Joker shows up and all of a sudden it's a horror movie! The music even intensifies batman's ass kicking's that he doles out through the movie. Plus beating the shit out of dudes is not the challenge for him (as per superhero movie standards), it's figuring out how to keep his city from being burned to the ground and getting turned into Detroit. It's no easy task and he can barley keep up with the madness all around him. There's all kinds of shit that happens that you don't ever expect from a comic book movie. But what's funny is, this is the kind of shit that you'd expect from a really good Batman comic. Yep, this is one of the greatest Batman stories ever told, it just happens to be on film instead of paper. If I was a movie studio and had to hire a director for my next movie I'd make them watch the Dark Knight twice and say "if you can't make this film as good or better than this, then fuck off!" I figure with that kind of money that shouldn't be a big deal to tell George Lucas that?

PS

Also I hear it's even more impressive in imax since four scenes were shot with an imax camera which hasn't been done on a film like this before. Guess I'll see it there next, wanna be my date? Ok but don't tell my wife I held your hand during the scary parts.

2008-07-21T20:57:00.001-04:00

New E6. Thoughts?

Via Myspace.

2008-07-11T16:29:00.000-04:00

Because its Friday

2008-07-07T15:32:00.002-04:00

wtf. why not.

Toby Keith. Ted Nugent. Willie Nelson. The movie is called "Beer for my Horses". And its found distribution.

(h/t to i watch stuff)

2008-07-03T12:18:00.004-04:00

But how does George Clooney feel about this?

At your own risk. Allegedly the first five minutes of The Dark Knight. This is the opposite of what the internets is for. Downloading music and sharing with friends. Hell yes. Shitty, low res, videotaped clips of highly anticipated movies with what appears to be temp audio. No. Fail. You're going to see this movie anyhow. Just fucking wait.

Anyhow. The fourth of July is almost upon us. I like this holiday. I get to take a day off to blow shit up, barbecue and drink. All in celebration of having bigger balls than England.

In the spirit of upcoming holiday...

2008-06-30T16:18:00.003-04:00

The Bond Identity

I don't care that it looks like a Bourne movie. This movie still looks pretty fucking awesome.
(brand new James Bond and the Quantum Solace trailer)

This just gets me so hard...

2008-06-25T16:23:00.001-04:00

clipped from cinematictitanic.com

Sorry, I just had to get away.

Posted on June, 19 at 6:45 am

Also, as you may have heard, we’ll be performing live at the 1,200 seat John Ford Amphitheater here in Los Angeles this Saturday night, which believe me, is gonna be some kind of beautiful dream gig. If you’re interested in making the scene, I hope you already have your tickets, as I’m pleased to mention we are sold out. Also, I’m sure you’ve heard about the big MST3K 20th anniversary panel coming up at Comicon next month, Well sir, we’re all gonna be there! The Panel discussion is Friday night and we’ll be in the dealer room on Saturday to meet you and sign things and say “bite me”. More details to come. Also, as a side note, I’ve just started doing press for the MST3K 20th anniversary box set that is coming out in October from “Shout Factory”. Can’t give out too many details but - from what I’ve heard, it’s going to be one-hum-dinger-of-a-doosey…if you like that sort of thing.

2008-06-24T14:00:00.002-04:00

Been a bit. I know.

I have some stuff though. And thank you for checking back. Summers get crazy sometimes, and you forget to entertain friends with dumb shit you find on the internetz.

First. Famous People Punching Steve. This amused me for about one second.

This courtesy of a co-worker. This is a show called Man Stroke Woman on the BBC. Its brilliant.

I would check out more of that if i were you.

2008-06-11T11:10:00.001-04:00

To Catch A Predator.

It's meta.

More Videos at ChruDat.com

2008-05-31T17:12:00.002-04:00

VH1's Best Week Ever just hurt my head.

from here. thanks?

2008-05-15T11:18:00.000-04:00

2008-05-14T08:59:00.005-04:00

Imagine.

I wish they would update this with the cast of The Office, 30 Rock and My Name is Earl. It would be beyond amazing.

2008-05-13T12:21:00.002-04:00

Sigh...

We have too much money and free time. It's not enough to have a quality set of speakers with an iPod connection. No. You need to find a way to shit on my childhood. But you know what? At this point why not? They have Hello Kitty M-16's. Nothing was ever sacred, why do i continue to act like it was?

buy it here. because you're that fan boy.

2008-05-08T15:12:00.001-04:00

This is worth the spin.

You really do need to make this your new summer jam, kids. Just play and enjoy.

2008-04-28T15:45:00.004-04:00

Stuff and Junk

If your planning on seeing Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (and you should) make sure you stay put until after the credits finish. Never before has it been more worth your time to hold your pee in for an end credit clip.

Also Venture Bros. Season 3, June 1st be excited! Here's a series of clips strung together from the Little Rock Comic Extravaganza Con.



I care a great deal for the G.I. Joe spoof and
hope the live action movie with Randy Quad's brother is
just like this!

2008-04-23T20:08:00.003-04:00

GOOD IDEA

My new Spring jam just dropped. Can't wait to blast this out the bu with the windows down.

2008-04-18T00:14:00.002-04:00

You love rock and roll.

The Company Band. They own you. Fucking kick mother fucking ass. (If you visit this site, you'll probably dig it. What's the worst that can happen? You turn it off?)

2008-04-16T16:36:00.002-04:00

Why does this give me a pantsplosion?

2008-04-12T00:00:00.001-04:00

Kids in the Hall work out a new skit for their tour...

And it's AWESOME.

2008-04-10T09:12:00.005-04:00

Oh the Drama...

Were the Olympics ever as good or as important as people seem to remember them being? I mean, yeah, at one point the games were dominated on one of the only three networks available, with the over-arching theme of Superman (USA! USA!) vs. Ivan - Raper of Children and Freedom (USSR), so maybe it made for compelling television. But in this day and age, with the media fragmented the way it is, cynicism running rampant and the USA water boarding people who smell of hummus, it's difficult for me to be excited about anything, let alone something like the olympics or its torch.

But there's been protests pretty much anywhere the things been (Google News - Olympic Torch Protest). People are PISSED. And not in the angsty "i'm going to blog about this SO HARD" kind of way. But in the "Let's bum rush the torch and extinguish it" kind of way. I guess the whole China/Tibet has peoples panties in a bunch. But lets talk about some stuff.

Right now people seem to be pretty quick to dismiss any respect for the torch because it was a ceremony started by the Nazi's. For real. So NOW, boldly, seventy odd years later, now we can disrespect it. You realize of course that that argument is stupid on it's face. And that anyone accepts that as anything other than a way to justify their own anger or resentment or fear is blind. Or delusional.

Also, they feel that attacking the Olympic torch is an acceptable way to protest. I liked you guys better when you just did Beastie Boys concerts. Extinguishing the torch has the same impact as the naked PETA people in cages pretending to be animals. In that I shrug my shoulders because it makes you look foolish.

We're not in THAT society anymore. Protest marches and speeches and sabotaging a phallic BIC lighter, won't impacting jack or shit. This is the DIGITAL age. We get our information in fragmented nuggets. If you have something to say, don't bum rush a flame and risk jail time, take it to fucking YouTube, like a normal person. You whack-jobs.

2008-04-07T23:59:00.001-04:00

Who takes this shit seriously?

Men Are Better Than Women

Meet Dick Masterson the Most Chauvinistic Man Alive

I'm not sure what to think of this, but the lady at the end will most likely murder Dick in the near future.

Get humor videos at NothingToxic

2008-04-06T02:00:00.000-04:00

The Last Man on Earth...

R.I.P. Chuck, you bat shit insane mofo.